Funeral Dress Code Guide
The Dress Code for the Funeral
Funerals are solemn occasions where we pay our respects to the departed and offer comfort to the grieving. Dressing appropriately demonstrates respect and understanding of the gravity of the occasion. The dress code for a funeral is not a perplexing puzzle, as long as you know the basics of Black Lounge Dress.
*There is also a Funeral Outfit Edit (with funeral outfit examples for spring, summer, fall and winter, plus explanation why you need to pair certain items with those shoes and accessories) at the end of this article.
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Understanding Catholic Funeral Services
Funerals are sacred ceremonies that honor the deceased, comfort the grieving, and provide closure for the living. In Catholic traditions, funeral rites are especially meaningful, offering prayers for the departed soul and hope of resurrection.
Catholic funeral services typically follow a carefully structured three-part format, each with its own significance and appropriate dress expectations:
The Vigil (Wake) Service
The Vigil, commonly known as the wake, typically takes place the evening before the funeral Mass at a funeral home or church. This service includes:
Scripture readings, prayers, and remembrances
An opportunity for family and friends to gather, reflect, and pay respects
Often includes an open casket for viewing the deceased
May include the recitation of the Rosary
The Funeral Mass
The Funeral Mass is the central liturgical celebration, typically held at the parish church of the deceased. This solemn service includes:
Liturgy of the Word with special readings focusing on resurrection and eternal life
Eucharistic celebration
Specific funeral rites including the blessing of the casket
Eulogies or words of remembrance (in some parishes)
Special music appropriate for the occasion
The Committal Service
The Committal service takes place at the cemetery and represents the final farewell. This service includes:
Prayers of committal as the body is consigned to its final resting place
Blessing of the grave
Final prayers for the deceased
Often concludes with the throwing of earth or flowers onto the casket
Papal Funeral Considerations
For papal funerals, additional protocols apply, including:
Extended lying in state periods at St. Peter's Basilica
Special liturgical elements reflecting the deceased's role as head of the Church
Participation by cardinals, bishops, and dignitaries from around the world
Specific ancient traditions unique to papal transitions
For each of these occasions, appropriate attire is an expression of reverence, respect, and participation in a sacred moment of transition.
THE STANDARD FUNERAL DRESS CODE: BLACK LOUNGE
The standard dress code for the funeral is the Black Lounge attire.
FUNERAL BLACK LOUNGE DRESS
A black dress should be at least knee length, made from silk blend or tweed materials. The dress should not be too tight or too loose, and should not feature any cutouts or lace. Avoid patent leather, suede, or denim materials. The dress must not have any prints or logos. Mini dresses and maxi dresses are not appropriate for funeral services. The neckline options include jewel neck, crewneck, mock neck, turtleneck, boatneck, or shallow V-neck. Avoid halterneck, sweetheart neckline, deep V-neck, off-the-shoulder, one-shoulder, spaghetti straps, or strapless styles.
FUNERAL BLACK LOUNGE TOP LAYER
A black blazer or jacket should match the color and material of the bottom/dress. Acceptable materials include tweed or wool. The jacket should not be oversized and must have at least short sleeves. For colder weather, a trench coat or wool coat must be the same length or longer than the dress. Puffer jackets, bomber jackets, aviator jackets, leather jackets, quilted coats, parkas, coats with hoods, or barn jackets are not appropriate.
If wearing a blouse, it should be black with no prints or logos. The blouse should not be too tight or too loose, and should be made of silk or a similar refined material. Sheer/semi-sheer blouses and cropped blouses are not appropriate. The sleeves should be at least short length, with acceptable necklines matching those of dresses. *A black turtleneck top or a black sweater under a coat could be an option if the coat is not taken off.
FUNERAL BLACK LOUNGE BOTTOM
When opting for a skirt (the most appropriate option), it must be black and at least knee length. Avoid sheer/transparent skirts, high-low skirts, denim skirts, or slit skirts.
Pants must be tailored and black. Avoid leggings, shorts, denim pants, leather pants, sweatpants, jogger pants, cargo pants, or harem pants.
FUNERAL BLACK LOUNGE SHOES
Shoes must be black. Leather, patent leather, suede, and black satin shoes are appropriate. They must have a closed toe and can be flats or heels (but not platform or wedges). If wearing heels, they should not be higher than 10cm. Ballet flats are acceptable but must be pointy. Sneakers, peep-toe shoes, espadrilles, platform shoes, wedges, slides, round ballet flats, slouchy boots, or western boots are not appropriate.
FUNERAL BLACK LOUNGE ACCESSORIES
Small black leather clutch or top-handle bag with no embellishments.
Hair accessories/fascinator: Black, with a veil.
Gloves: Black silk/cotton or leather, extending from wrist to mid-arm, without cuffs.
Tights: Black silk/lycra, 5-25 denier, with no patterns or shine. Or skin tone if wearing knee-high boots or pants.
LEVELS OF THE BLACK LOUNGE ATTIRE BY RELATIONSHIP TO THE DECEASED
The expected level of formality for funeral attire can depend on one's relationship with the deceased and their family. The concept of "Black Lounge Dress" provides a foundational guideline, but it's helpful to consider these distinctions:
Level 2.1: Formal for Primary Family
A widow, the children, parents and sisters, are expected to dress in the most formal attire, which signifies their deepest form of mourning. This traditionally means black clothing and a fascinator/headband.
A fascinator/headband: a black veil on the fascinator/headband is typically only worn by widows or daughters.
A dress: A black dress that falls at the knee or below is a respectful choice. Opt for classic cuts and avoid anything too revealing or attention-grabbing.
Jackets/Blazers: A black jacket or blazer adds a touch of formality and can be especially helpful if the weather is chilly.
Pants/Skirts: Black pants or a black skirt paired with a black top or blouse is also appropriate for immediate family members.
Shoes: Closed-toe pumps or dress boots in black are the most fitting choices.
Level 2.2: Formal for Close Relatives
Extended family members and close relatives must also dress formally, but more modestly compared to immediate family. Lavish fascinators and hats with wide brim should be avoided.
Level 2.3: Distant Relatives and Friends
Dark grey is considered an appropriate alternative to black for distant relatives and friends. Black is still an option, but dark grey is more appropriate at this level, making sure a distant relative is not mistaken for a close family member by funeral attendees when expressing condolences to the family.
Headwear is optional, but if worn, it must not be lavish.
Level 2.4: Plus Ones - Funeral Attendees Who Didn't Even Know the Deceased
Dark colors are still mandatory, but preferably dark navy blue or dark grey instead of black to make sure a funeral attendee who had no close relationship to the deceased is not mistaken for a close family member.
GENERAL TIPS FOR FUNERAL ATTENDEES:
Accessories: Keep accessories modest and understated. Hats and veils are traditionally worn by widows and immediate family members during a funeral service. For gloves, black is customary, but not required. Tights are obligatory; the shade of the color becoming lighter down the levels. Bags should be small and preferably black.
Material: Opt for natural fabrics like wool or silk (not satin) for a polished and respectful look. Avoid overly casual materials like denim, linen, suede.
Skirt/Dress Length: Maintain a respectful silhouette by choosing skirts or dresses that fall at the knee or below.
Sleeves: Short sleeves, long sleeves, or sleeveless with a jacket (if the jacket is never taken down) are all acceptable. Avoid anything overly revealing.
WHAT TO WEAR TO A FUNERAL - THE BEST FUNERAL OUTFITS
As promised, funeral outfits for every season.